After years of struggling and feeling like everything was an uphill battle, I had an epiphany. The more commitments, shopping trips, time on social media - the more miserable I became. Now I'm a proponent of the power of less. Less effort equals less stress which equals more peace. Fewer commitments equals more personal time.

More was never the answer. The answer, it turned out, was always less. ~Cait Flanders

Our society is always pushing for more. One look at social media and it's very clear: more equals happiness. I beg to differ. I don't want 20 coffee mugs, pairs of jeans, vacations, friends. I want a couple of very good ones. With the thought that more is more (and better!), I invite you to go the opposite direction. It's saying no to the good opportunities so you can say yes to the incredible ones.

If you need a weekend with less effort and more relaxation, join us for a yoga retreat.

Stop Trying So Hard

At the Grounding & Growth Retreat a few weeks ago, I shared this secret guests. They were absolutely thrilled. While we may be on the endless quest to find the perfect self care, real self care starts with this simple statement. Less is more. Ayurveda, the sister science to yoga, teaches us less effort. Too much effort leads to irritability, anger, frustration and judgement. Sound familiar? Less effort equals peace, calm, contentment and the ability to roll with it.

Small Habits Matter

I’ve found my life changes with small habits. One of my favorites is a corner in my bedroom where I’ve created a sanctuary for me. By spending a few moments every day in self-reflection and gratitude; I’ve discovered the space between effort and ease, which feels a lot like contentment to me.

My favorite way to start the day is with Mason (he’s eight now) and my cup of coffee out onto the deck in my backyard. We wake up to the sounds of our neighborhood coming to life and we watch the sun rise together. Before I made the discovery of less, I hit the computer as soon as my feet hit the floor.

Say No to Comparison

Sometimes I look at social media and get instantly depressed. I wonder about those seemingly incredibly happy people – they have perfect children, a good-looking and supportive partner, their house is gorgeous and they travel to exotic destinations. What am I doing wrong? But then I remember appearances can be deceiving. Most of us aren’t advertising our challenges on social media, but we all have struggles.

I’ve found when I compare myself to others, I feel unhappy and discontent. Comparison makes me expend so much effort – trying to be something I’m not. And I don’t want to live like that.

Change Your Life with These Habits

A common theme for women at a retreat - we're tired! We've been trying incredibly hard for years, sometimes decades. After years of forcing and trying so hard at EVERYTHING, I’ve discovered this space between effort and ease, is actually quite sweet, once you get the hang of it. 

• Meditate – I can’t say enough good things about meditation. It’s free, you don’t need any special props, and it can be done anytime and anywhere. The benefits of meditation are amazing; contributes to a good night’s sleep, strengthens your immune system, reduces aging and so much more.  If you struggle with meditation check out our guide for beginners.
• Create a Sanctuary – Set up a place in your home that’s specifically for you. It can be a room or a corner in a room. Make it your space. You can meditate, journal, enjoy your morning coffee or tea. This is the space where you discover exactly what you need in your life. Create an altar with photos of loved ones, books that are meaningful to you, your bible, your journal, an item that has special meaning to you. Every time you see this space, you’ll be reminded to take care of yourself.
• Start Your Day Intentionally – Resist the urge to look at your phone first thing. Have an actual clock and an alarm. When you check e-mail, news and social media first, you start your day by reacting. Instead of looking at your phone, spend a few moments in self-reflection or journal, meditate, pray or read. Take a few moments of quiet time before you mindlessly jump into your day. This routine can be five minutes or 30 minutes, depending on your schedule.

I’ve incorporated these habits into my life and I’m more productive, I feel less overwhelmed and I start my day on my terms.

I encourage you to find the space between effort and ease, and discover more bliss and less struggle. What do you have to lose? You might just discover your sweet spot.

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This blog is intended to provide helpful suggestions for self care and overall well-being. I am not a mental health professional. If you’re struggling I encourage you to seek the help of a professional. Find a Mental Health Professional | National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988