Surrender to Discomfort
Theresa Polley
November 26, 2023
December 8, 2023
Self Care

What a time we're living in! Discomfort lurking around every corner. And with it, stress, anxiety, depression or all three. 

Almost every woman I know tells me she’s afraid to start crying because she feels like she won’t stop. I feel exactly the same way. Many of us are carrying around heavy loads of pain and suffering. The weight of which can cause us actual physical harm. Our bodies suffer as we struggle to keep all of our feelings inside. Expressing our emotions helps us heal. 

We can surrender to the discomfort, and STILL

  • Live our lives with honor and dignity.
  • Cherish our loved ones.
  • Be present with how we’re feeling.
  • Celebrate the small moments of joy.

When we open the Pandora’s Box of our emotions, the scary thoughts and emotions can be overwhelming. Feelings we try to shove down NEVER go away. They just sit and mix together into a toxic brew that damages our body, mind and spirit. What we’ve been determined to push away, finally blows the lid right off of the box. The research on the ill effects on your health of holding onto our emotions is powerful.

The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don't wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Be Still and Feel Your Feelings

Whatever it might be -  fear, anger, grief, disappointment - let it bubble up to the surface. Cry, scream, let whatever comes up out. Try it for 30 seconds. Then maybe a minute, then  longer. See what happens. When it becomes too much. Take a break and try again later. Examine your emotions without judgment. Let the crazy thoughts fly through your brain. Be still, listen, and feel.

Once you know what to surrender to, you encounter the working part of the process. On this road you realize you're going to have to go straight through that emotion. No shortcuts. Not over or above or around. Realize your mind will want to take you a different way. You’ll want to get back to the mindless avoidance - a glass of wine, social media, shopping. Avoid  prolonging your suffering with those distractions, in the long run, it will only make it worse.

Surrender to Your Discomfort

  • Journal - Write or draw what the sensations feel like, without judgment. Trace the feeling to the root, maybe it’s a straight line, maybe it’s more complicated. Maybe you figure it out immediately, maybe you make peace with not knowing the cause - now or ever.
  • Yoga - A yoga practice trains your mind to be present in every moment. Allow thoughts to take a back seat to the sound of your breath, the sense of your body moving from pose to pose, the physical sensations as you hold a pose. Let your yoga practice be a moving meditation.
  • Spend Time in Nature - Being in nature is a powerful healing force. Focus on the sun, the trees, the flowers and grass, whatever is in your little patch of the world. Maybe you’re lucky enough to live in a place with breathtaking views, or near a nature preserve or city park, or maybe you enjoy the beauty of a single flower or cloud. Breathe out your emotions and the fear. Breathe in peace, joy, gratitude, freedom.
  • Meditate - Meditation is one of the most powerful tools that we all have access to. There are meditation books, videos, apps, and more if you’re not ready to begin on your own. undefined I like to visualize myself walking through a tunnel, at each step, I’m letting go of thoughts or emotions that I’m holding onto so tightly. When I get to the other side of the tunnel, I have a sensation of peace and freedom. I imagine my favorite place in nature and turn my face up to the sun and close my eyes and breathe
  • Thank Yourself - You’ve embarked on the journey of surrender. Continue to walk through your journey of discomfort, whatever it is for you. Fear. Grief. Anxiety. Control. Perfection. Anger. Discover what is waiting for you in the space that is now free. Love. Peace. Joy. Forgiveness. Freedom. Contentment. Self-Acceptance. Compassion. LIFE.
  • Seek Professional Help - If you follow all of these steps and you still feel stuck, find a competent therapist. I have used several in my life and they allowed me to see parts of myself that I couldn't see. An outside source can give you a different perspective and allow you to find the peace you deserve. From my experience, it's worth every penny, and nowadays, many insurance plans will cover the costs. Get started here.

Sometimes the thought of surrendering seems impossible. It seems easier to just lay in bed all day and give up. Give up hope, give up opportunities, and give up living. Giving up isn’t the same as surrendering. To surrender takes courage. And in surrender there is hope.  

This blog is intended to provide helpful suggestions for self care and overall well-being. I am not a mental health professional. If you’re struggling I encourage you to seek the help of a professional. Find a Mental Health Professional | National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988

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Theresa Polley

Theresa believes ALL women have the right to live life on their own terms. In 2004, she created Retreat in the Pines to give women a safe space to be their authentic selves without apology while finding the healing and renewal they deserve.

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