“I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan. And never let you forget you’re a man!”

I blame this 1980 perfume commercial for my belief I could do it all. I had no idea doing it all was a myth! I spent years trying so hard to do everything myself without asking for help.

When’s the last time you asked for help? If you have trouble asking for help, you need a retreat – STAT. Once you realize you deserve to take time for you, your life will change.

With recent custody of my two month old grandson, I’m asking for help from my friends, family and oddly enough, my ex-husband. I’ve realized I can’t do this all by myself. Taking care of an infant is a full time job, and I already have a full time job. And while it’s more exhausting than I remember, there is so much joy.

When I was young and believed the myth of doing it all, I would run myself into the ground to accomplish everything. Asking for help was cheating. As I TRIED to do it all, there was little time left for myself. I was too exhausted to notice or care. I was miserable.

I know a thing or too about taking care of myself. I take time for yoga, spend time with friends and perform my nightly self-care ritual that makes me feel good. It’s the best thing I can do for myself. And for Mason.

In order to make self-care a priority, I’ve had to delegate, prioritize and most importantly, make peace with leaving things undone.

What doesn’t get done at this new place in my life is mostly household chores – my home is a bit of a shambles, I’m not cooking for myself and the laundry is piling up. But Mason is well cared for, I’m running my business and I’m honoring myself.

Kaycee is the perfect example of someone who has learned to delgate, prioritize and let go. She is a wife, a mother and she works several different jobs. She is one of the hardest working women I know and one of my favorite people. If you’ve seen her in action at a retreat, you know exactly what I mean.

In the effort to do less and accomplish more, remember there is no right or wrong, there is no perfect scenario. It’s what works best for you. Just like your yoga practice.

Delegate

• Find Help – Hire childcare, cleaning or cooking help, if it makes your life easier – do it! The latest research shows that spending money on time saving services is a boost for happiness.
• Home Delivery – If it’s ready made meals, diapers or shoes that you need, know that you can get most anything in a day. Take advantage of the convenience of delivery to your door.
• Ask for Help – A dear friend of mine likes to say “You don’t get what you don’t ask for.” Ask for help from your partner, your family, your friends. Gone are the days where the only way to do anything was to do it yourself. It really does take a village.

Prioritize

• Do the Important Tasks First – Children picked up from school. Bills paid. Groceries bought. Whatever needs to be done to keep your day-to-day routine up and running is a priority.
• Paying for It All – If your boss, coworkers or work environment is sucking the life out of you, it may be time to move on. Maybe a career change even. The job market is doing well, now may be the time to make your move.
• What Makes You Happy – What experiences bring you joy? Is it time with friends, a bubble bath, a yoga class or walking your dog? Whatever you need to feel nurtured and grounded, make it a priority.
• Avoid distractions – Constantly checking your phone, obsessively browsing news or social media is only making you feel worse. Stop it. Today.

Make Peace with What You Can’t Do

• Your To-Do List – Take a good look at your to do list and evaluate what really needs to be done. If you have tasks that keep getting moved from one to-do list to another, maybe it’s time to admit those chores will never get done. Delete from your list. Notice the relief you feel.
• Minimize – Get rid of items, obligations and people who don’t serve you. Discover freedom from what is holding you back.
• Acknowledge – You don’t have to do it all. Really. Do what you can do. Forgive yourself for not doing it all. Allow yourself to ask for help. Watch your life change.

I’ve met many women who say they’d love to take time for themselves, but they just don’t have the time. Honestly, you don’t have time to NOT take time for yourself. I firmly believe people make time for what’s important.

I’ve created Retreat in the Pines so Women can celebrate and encourage each other. Life is hard. Letting go is hard. Holding on is harder. I believe we need our tribe around us for support and to know we are not alone. Embrace your female friends and take time to spend time with them. We are all on different journeys. Let us honor each and every woman and the path she has chosen. Let’s encourage each other to renew, refresh and replenish. And let’s do it together.