Love Yourself First
January 30, 2020
January 30, 2020
Self Care

I struggled for years with self-love. I'd internalized so much negativity - insults and name-calling from childhood and well into my adulthood. Although I believed women deserved respect and love, I didn't always believe I deserved it too. You, like me, deserve love and respect. And it starts with supporting and loving each other AND self love. When you vow to be good to yourself everything starts to fall into place. Begin your journey of self care in a group of supportive and encouraging women at a retreat.

Only by taking care of yourself, are you able to do all those things you want and need to do. Love Yourself First is just as important as putting your oxygen mask on first in an airplane. As a society we've decided being busy, leaning in and doing more is the path to some sort of ultimate achievement. We trick ourselves into believing if we eliminate “me” time we will have more time for other things. Running ourselves ragged leaves us exhausted, with neither the time nor energy to take care of anybody or anything. I know from personal experience, eventually feelings of resentment start to come up.

Through self-care – physical, mental and emotional – your immune system and energy levels stay strong. YOU deserve the gift of self-love and self-acceptance!

My practice of being good to myself has allowed the life I've envisioned for myself to fall into place. It's as if once I believe I'm worthy of living my dream, my dream comes true

Self-Love Starts with Self-Care

Self-love begins with self-care. It’s learning to say no to many things, so you can say yes to you.  

I’ve started these habits over the last few years and I’m healthy and full of energy. I’ve found when I commit to myself through self-care rituals, I change my life, my attitude and how I feel. All for the better.

Self-Love Continues with Loving Yourself No Matter What

No More Negative Self Talk
  • Stop second guessing yourself or comparing yourself to others
  • Don't ever put yourself down, even in a self-deprecating humor sort of way
  • Find compassion for yourself.
  • Engage in activities that make you feel empowered.
  • Keep in mind, you are doing the best you can.
Set Boundaries
  • Never make excuses for other adults.
  • Remove toxic people from your life - it doesn't matter if its a family member, a work colleague, a childhood friend, a love interest or an acquaintance. And don't feel guilty.You deserve better.
  • Vow to not make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small.
  • Say no to things that don't serve you so you can say yes to you.
Live in The Moment
  • Be present with each person and situation you encounter.
  • Avoid living in the past - either reliving something fabulous or thinking about what you could have done differently.
  • Beware of living in the future - anticipating conversations, experiences or life changes.
  • The present moment is a beautiful thing, allow yourself to stay there.
Let Go of the Past
  • Anything you did or didn't do.
  • Anyone who manipulated or mislead you.
  • Regrets, missteps, wrong directions and false starts.
  • Letting go allows space in your life for new possibilities and opportunities.
Forgive Yourself and Others
  • Give yourself grace for taking a wrong turn along the way - it got you where you are today.
  • Forgive those who have wronged you - by holding onto anger and resentment towards that individual, you are only harming yourself.
Find Acceptance
  • Instead of waiting for everything in your life to be perfect, find contentment in the way things are right now.
  • Accept friends, family and loved ones exactly the way they are - there's no need to fix anyone - it doesn't work and it's exhausting.
Make a List of 20 Positive Things About Yourself
  • If you have a hard time getting started, begin with what you like and don't like.
  • Ask loved ones for input.
  • Start with a few things and allow the list to grow.
  • Sometimes a negative is actually a positive - for instance if you're stubborn, that means you're persistent!

It may be difficult at first, but know that, yes, there are 20 positive things about you!

I did this exercise several years ago and it was incredibly difficult at first. But once I started, I discovered lots of positive things about myself. Now I remind myself to do this exercise every few months. It makes all the difference in the world to my sense of self and my self worth.

The journey to loving yourself is like anything else - it starts with baby steps and can be a few steps forward and just as many steps back. In the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, "Smile, Breathe and Go Slowly."

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Theresa believes ALL women have the right to live life on their own terms. In 2004, she created Retreat in the Pines to give women a safe space to be their authentic selves without apology while finding the healing and renewal they deserve.

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