The thought of a perfect retreat with promises to transform you physically, mentally and emotionally is certainly enticing. But is it a reality? The photos look inviting and the description seems perfect - but what’s the real story?

I can't tell you the number of horror stories I've heard from guests going on retreats that looked good on paper, but were a nightmare in reality. When I attended my first retreat over 20 years ago, the biggest problem was it was unorganized and, honestly, very disappointing. Today the stories are far worse.

I share this so you don't end up on a retreat where you don't feel safe. Many people are jumping into the Retreat Leader space (without training or forethought) who are most likely harmless. Problems arise when these pseudo healers are not fully healed from their personal trauma, at which point they're unable to hold a safe space for you. You may not know until it is too late.

I recommend thoroughly researching the retreat center and the retreat leader before paying a deposit on a retreat.

“A healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer, so that you may heal yourself.” Maryam Hasnaa

Your personal safety matters most.

Physical Safety

Find a retreat property with multiple reviews. Reviews from former guests and from former retreat leaders. Pictures aren’t everything, search out reviews on as many sites as possible. Including Google, Trip Advisor, Trust Pilot, AirBnb. Don’t rely solely on the Retreat Property’s website.

Choose a retreat leader who vets the retreat property and has experience leading retreats. Some Retreat Leaders host retreats at properties where there are multiple events going on. Ask questions and find out as much as you can before booking.  

Ideally choose a retreat at a retreat property that is dedicated to retreats and hosts only one retreat at a time.

Recommended Retreat Leader Criteria

• Hosted at least five or more retreats. 
• Chooses a venue that has been vetted for safety.
• Non-negotiable
  • An insurance policy in place to protect you.
  • A clearly stated cancellation policy.
  • A back up plan to manage weather related instances that prevent you from getting to your destination or prevent the retreat from even happening.

Emotional Safety

Find a retreat leader who has more than beautiful social media photos and an enticing website. Choose someone who has years of experience as a yoga or meditation teacher or another professional who works one on one with individuals. Since there is no governing board for Retreat Leaders - anyone who thinks “how hard can it be?” can lead retreats. It really is a case of buyer beware.

Some unscrupulous retreat properties even promise newbies getting into the retreat space, “create transformative experiences for your guests while ensuring profitability and growth for your business.” Profitability and growth in the retreat space can take years. Be vigilant and choose a retreat that prioritizes your personal safety over profits and growth.

Safe space - the importance of creating and holding space for guests.

• Retreat leader has healed from personal emotional trauma so she can hold space for you. 
• Provides a safe space for you without judgement or expectation.
• Group encourages and supports each other without trying to fix or give advice.
• Clear boundaries to prevent oversharing of personal traumas that may trigger you or others.

A Retreat Leader struggling with emotional wounds can't hold a safe space for you and she may even share her trauma causing emotional trauma to her guests.

Other Factors to Consider

Everything is not always as it seems. Photos and videos on social media may look enthralling, but there is no guarantee that your destination will prioritize your safety, or even look like the photos. Beware of retreats that are trying to sell you something. If it sounds too good to be true, it always is. Stay vigilant and be especially cautious before giving out credit card or personal information.

Number of Guests. The number of guests at a retreat is in direct proportion to your experience.

• Small group size of 5 to 8 is perfect if you’re looking for intimate conversations.
• Large group size, anything over 15 can be intimidating (and loud!) but also a lot of fun.
• A group of 9 to 14 allows you to spend time getting to know each other while widening your circle of friends.

Women only versus co-ed. Mixed groups of men and women can be fun, but determine what you’re comfortable with. Men change the dynamics of a group.

Travel Considerations

Domestic or International. Domestic travel is relatively easy for the most part - once you get through security! There can be a bit of a hassle if flights are delayed.

International travel can be tricky. There’s a website devoted to international travel precautions, how to travel internationally and if there’s a travel advisory. Check here. There’s information specific to women travelers and LGBTQI+.

Budget Reality Check

What are You Willing to Spend vs What can You Afford. A retreat will at least give you a new perspective on life and possibly so much more. But what if the retreat isn’t as transformational as you thought it would be? And you still have $5000 to pay off on your credit card? Nothing is more stressful than amassing credit card debt for a retreat.

Take into account ALL costs

Some retreats are all inclusive, others aren’t. Keep in mind things like: 

• Transportation to and from the location (air fare, gas, shuttle, rental car, etc.)
• What meals are included.
• Accommodations (private versus shared).
• Optional activities (at an additional cost) including massages or spa treatments, cooking classes, excursions, etc.
• Items you may need for the retreat or travel.

Take all costs into consideration. If free time activities are out of your budget, are you comfortable spending your free time alone?

Find your happy place.

Accommodations

• Private room and bath for your own space.
• Private room with shared bathroom.
• Sleepover style bunk room accommodations for sharing space with others. 
• Shared bed with shared bath.

If you’re craving alone time, but still want community with others; look for properties that will give you both.

Find out the location of the bathroom you'll be using. Unless your idea of fun is trekking in the pitch black (inside or outside) to find the bathroom, make sure your room has bathroom access nearby.

Meals

• Plant based meals versus meals with animal protein.
• Coffee versus only tea.
• Alcoholic beverages included versus for an additional charge versus alcohol free.
• Healthy and satisfying meals versus juice diet.

If the thought of forgoing coffee with cream, with a strictly vegan menu and a no sugar policy is not your idea of a retreat, be sure to thoroughly investigate the menu options. If you have dietary restrictions check that the retreat center will accommodate you. A space to store personal food and beverages is a nice touch.

Helpful Hints

Do your homework. Thank goodness for Google! You can search for your ideal retreat using keywords “yoga” “healing” “women’s” retreats, etc. Or search by a location you’d like to visit plus “affordable” “all-inclusive” or “vegan."

Read reviews. Recognize the difference between a legitimate review and something that the Retreat Leader or Property has solicited. Google, Facebook, Trip Advisor are great places to find reviews.

Before booking thoroughly read all the fine print.

• Cancellation policy.
• Payment options.
• Included in the price.
• What activities/meals/accommodation are an additional cost.
• Check in and check out times.

Choose the retreat based on what you want. Get out of your comfort zone or stay comfortable. Choose a retreat destination and retreat leader who you feel confident in and who you feel confident trusting with your safety.

At Retreat in the Pines, your personal safety is our priority.

Our retreats are limited to women and all of our staff are women. Each of our Retreat Leaders has been fully vetted and has at least 5 years of yoga teaching experience. Most of our team has been teaching for ten plus years.

We’ve hosted retreats onsite since 2004, hosting guests from all over the country plus one guest from Ireland. Our insurance and retreat policies protect you when things don’t go as planned.

We offer shared or private rooms with all bathrooms located inside. Our meals are prepared on site from scratch by our own private chef using herbs from our garden. Guests enjoy our seasonal menu full of local and organic produce. We are committed to sustainability through our menu planning, composting and recycling.

We are dedicated to inclusivity welcoming all women to our safe space. We offer scholarships to those who need them.

Our guests return time after time, having found a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their stories. Our retreats are known for relaxing yoga, breathtaking nature, delicious meals, and what our guests love the most -  connection and community with other women.

We’d love to have you as our guest. Check out our retreat offerings here.