Your Holiday Survival Guide
Manage your holiday anxiety and find joy
As women, many of us have lost friends over the last several years and we struggle to make new friends. It is a difficult experience, leaving me feeling isolated and lonely. Whether you chose to cut ties with someone or if you were suddenly ghosted by a good friend, it's not uncommon.
Friendship is one of the most important aspects of our mental health? Friends are a great sounding board (and can give us a different perspective) when we are going through challenging times. They give us a sense of belonging and help us improve our emotional intelligence. Plus, hanging out with friends – laughing and enjoying ourselves – instantly gives a mood boost.
Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you. ~ Misty Copeland
What do friends for a season look like? You work together, live in the same neighborhood, have dogs, have “couple” friends with your spouse, or “parent” friends from your children’s school.
What do friends for a reason look like? You’re walking through similar life circumstances or have common interests.
What happens when circumstances change? We may lose friends unless we. commit ourself to maintaining the friendship. And while that is a tough reality to face, knowing the purpose of our friendships can bring peace. The question becomes, how do we make new friends?
It feels scary to think about finding friends, especially if it means getting out of your comfort zone. But there’s nothing better than having a go to friend or a group of friends you get together with or a friend you connect with for certain activities.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. You are going to have to leave the comfort of your living room. You may already know this, but having friends you meet in person or chat with on the phone with is much more rewarding than just “keeping up with” friends on social media.
Take a cooking class, go on a retreat, take a solo trip, join a gym or a yoga studio. Doing something that interests you is a great way to meet people that you would enjoy spending time with.
Whether you’re at your neighborhood dog park or your kid’s elementary school, strike up a conversation with someone you’re drawn to. Talking about whatever is is you’re doing there or the weather are always easy topics to start with.
Be open to everyone you meet. Your new friend may not look like you or be the same age as you. You may be divorced, they may be married. You may have children, they may have dogs. You don’t have to agree on everything, have similar lives, or share all the same interests!
Making new friends will probably take some time and practice. It’s unlikely that you’ll be best friends with the next person you meet and have a random conversation with, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find friends. If you don’t get a conversation started, shake it off and try with someone new.
Most importantly, when meeting new people, be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. It takes too much time and energy to pretend. You may not be for everyone, but you will find your people.
Community and connection are the reasons we host retreats. I’ve met countless women at Retreat in the Pines who have formed incredible friendships in less than 48 hours, like Carole and Cheryl. And I can tell you from the friendships I’ve made at retreats – whether they’re a friend for a reason, season or lifetime – it’s absolutely worth it.
If you need to meet a friend stat, consider attending one of our upcoming retreats!