Almost every woman I talk to lately has told me she has lost friends over the last several years and is struggling to make new friends. I have personally experienced that same thing, leaving me feeling isolated and lonely. As the weather becomes cooler and sun sets earlier, it feels counterintuitive to get off the couch and put down the remote. But I know my mental health always feels better when I’m taking action. 

Did you know that friendship is one of the most important aspects of our mental health? Friends are a great sounding board (and can give us a different perspective) when we are going through challenging times. They give us a sense of belonging and help us improve our emotional intelligence. Plus, hanging out with friends – laughing and enjoying ourselves – instantly gives us a mood boost. 

Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you. ~ Misty Copeland

Friends for a Season or Friends for a Reason

You’ve probably heard some variation of this quote before, “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.” 

What do friends for a season look like? You work together, live in the same neighborhood, have dogs, have “couple” friends with your spouse, or “parent” friends from your children’s school.

What do friends for a reason look like? You’re walking through similar life circumstances (joyful or challenging), learning about yourself or needing help with an obstacle you’re facing.

But what happens when these things change? Sometimes that means we lose friends. And while that is a tough reality to face, knowing the purpose of our friendships can bring a lot of peace. Then the question becomes, how do we make new friends?

How to Make New Friends as an Adult

I know that it feels scary to think about finding friends, especially because it means getting out of your comfort zone. But there’s nothing better than having a go to friend who gets you. Whether she’s a friend for a reason, season, or a lifetime – she’s probably looking for you right now, too.

1. Get out of your comfort zone.

Get comfortable being uncomfortable. You are going to have to leave the comfort of your living room. You may already know this, but having friends you meet in person or chat with on the phone with is much more rewarding than just “keeping up with” friends on social media.

2. Try new things by yourself. 

Take a cooking class, go on a retreat, take a solo trip, join a gym or a yoga studio. Doing something that interests you is a great way to meet people that you would enjoy spending time with.

3. Spark up a conversation in places you frequent. 

Whether you’re at your neighborhood dog park or your kid’s elementary school, strike up a conversation with someone you’re drawn to. Talking about whatever is is you’re doing there or the weather are always easy topics to start with.

4. Be open to differences.

Be open to everyone you meet. Your new friend may not look like you or be the same age as you. You may be divorced, they may be married. You may have children, they may have dogs. You don’t have to agree on everything, have similar lives, or share all the same interests!

5. Don’t give up easily.

Making new friends will probably take some time and practice. It’s unlikely that you’ll be best friends with the next person you meet and have a random conversation with, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find friends. If you don’t get a conversation started, shake it off and try with someone new.

6. Be authentic.

The most important thing when meeting new people is to just be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. It takes too much work trying to pretend that you’re into things that you’re actually not. You may not be for everyone, but you will find your people.

Find New Friends at Retreat in the Pines

Community and connection are the reasons we host retreats. We’ve met countless women at Retreat in the Pines who have formed incredible friendships in less than 48 hours, like Carole and Cheryl. And I can tell you from the friendships I’ve made at retreats – whether they’re a friend for a reason, season or lifetime – it’s absolutely worth it. 

If you need to meet a friend stat, consider attending one of our upcoming retreats!

‍