How I Learned to Ask For Help
By
Theresa Polley
On
May 22, 2024
June 5, 2024
IN
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My Journey

Asking for help has always been incredibly challenging. I know I'm not alone in this. Many women confide they struggle with it as well.

Since an early age, I realized the only person I could ever really count on was myself. I am grateful for the challenges I've faced over the years. The challenges have made me who I am today, but there were years of pain and struggle when I didn't think I'd survive it all.

Asking for help is a power move. It's a sign of strength to ask. It reflects self awareness. ~Brené Brown

I have always seen asking for help as a sign of weakness. But the more I ask for help, the more I agree, it is a power move. When we work together in community towards a common goal, anything is possible.

Not Wanting to Ask for Help, But Doing It Anyway

Over the years I was forced to ask for help. But that didn't mean I liked it. Asking for financial help for childcare as a single mom, so I could work. Turning to friends to escape relationships with abusive partners. I embraced yoga as a way to cope with adult children who were struggling.

The years after my divorce were particularly tough. I was making less than pennies per hour hosting retreats while working non-stop. Luckily my stubborn nature kicked in. I refused to give up on my dream. I worked two other jobs to make ends meet.

I enjoyed working as a substitute teacher at my teenager's high school, but it was definitely intense! I was teaching 10 fitness classes a week, which meant a lot of driving. All the while, doing EVERYTHING at the retreat. I cooked and taught yoga and hosted guests. When they left, I tackled the cleaning. I was overwhelmed by the size of the 30 acre property. Not having money to pay for help with property upkeep and maintenance, I turned to the lucky guy I was dating at the time for my go-to handyman. Not ideal, but it worked!

Realization: I Can't Do It All

Building my business, I did everything myself for as long as I could until I finally had no choice and had to hire someone.

By 2014, I knew doing it all was not sustainable. My first hire was Kaycee. She was a gift from the universe. A fellow single mom, she moved in down the street from the retreat. She started out cleaning, then jumped into cooking and property management. I threw her into the retreat with no training. I really had no idea what I was doing back then. We had a few bumps, but she thrived.

These days, Kaycee is doing her own thing, selling her baked goods at Canton. I'm happy to say she still bakes all of our homemade bread.

After hiring Kaycee, I began to hire Yoga Teachers to lead the retreats. The rest is history. Now I'm grateful to have a phenomenal team of women who bring so much to our guests. Meet our team.

Everything Changed

The day I realized I COULDN’T do it all is when things changed. Releasing my grip on perfection and control, allowed Retreat in the Pines to grow as a business. And more importantly, I began a journey of growth and learning that I'm still on to this day. Bringing in a team of talented women opened up possibilities and freed me up to do what I love. Creating new retreats. Taking guests on destination retreats. And my favorite, chatting with guests.

I took another step back 2017. Mason came to live with me when he was one month old. In that moment, I realized I wanted to spend my time watching him grow and experiencing life together. That meant even less time at the retreat. Now are weekends are filled with soccer games and visits to the park with friends.

While I don't lead as many retreats these days, I do pop in as a guest for a retreat at least once a quarter. I hope to meet you one of these days!

I'm grateful for the challenges in my life and my persistence (some may say stubbornness) in not giving up. That's how I got here and that's what keeps me going!

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Theresa Polley

Theresa believes ALL women have the right to live life on their own terms. In 2004, she created Retreat in the Pines to give women a safe space to be their authentic selves without apology while finding the healing and renewal they deserve.

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