Ask for Help - Here's How
Theresa Polley
June 5, 2024
June 5, 2024
Self Care

I know from talking to women, I’m not the only one who struggles with asking for help. The reasons we resist are many. But the reasons to ask for help are multiple. We get the help we need, plus we gift someone else the opportunity to help us.

Asking for help is an act of service. Don't deny the people you love the honor of being there to support you.  ~Simon Sinek

Why we  don’t ask for help


  • We’ll be seen as weak, inferior, somehow less than enough.
  • Others will think we can't cope or aren’t competent (as a mother, boss, you name it)
  • Of vulnerability when we open up about our personal struggles.


  • We want to be seen as capable, independent and able to do things on our own.

The "Superwoman" Complex

  • We've been conditioned to think not only can we do it all, we should.
  • We may feel like we have to push through tasks, even when we’re feeling overworked or burned out. 


  • Women are expected to do most of the work of managing a household and caregiving (whether it’s children, pets or elderly relatives).
  • In many cases, we also hold a job outside of the home.

Here are suggestions to help you ask for help when you need it. There is no good reason to do everything by yourself. I've found in most cases, people want to help and are thrilled when asked. I know I am!

  1. Acknowledge that you need help. The first step in asking for help is to admit that you need it. This can be difficult, especially if you're used to being self-reliant. However, it's important to remember that everyone needs help from time to time.
  2. Identify what you need help with. Once you've acknowledged that you need help, you need to identify what you need help with. Be specific about what you need help with and how much help you need.
  3. Choose the right person to ask for help. Not everyone is equipped to help you with everything. When choosing someone to ask for help, consider their skills, experience, and availability.
  4. Ask for help in a clear and concise way. When you ask for help, be clear and concise about what you need. Don't be afraid to ask for specific things, such as "Can you help me with this project?" or "Can you give me some feedback on my writing?"
  5. Show gratitude for the help you receive. When someone helps, a simple thank you goes a long way.

When you take the first step to ask for help, you not only get the help you need, but you allow someone else to help. There is power and community in a simple request. Plus it feels good!

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Theresa Polley

Theresa believes ALL women have the right to live life on their own terms. In 2004, she created Retreat in the Pines to give women a safe space to be their authentic selves without apology while finding the healing and renewal they deserve.

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